TED Weekends investigates why we judge others

Judge Others, A Vicious But Inevitable Habit of Us.

TED Blog

Above and slightly behind your right ear, exists a part of your brain many scientists believe is specifically dedicated to thinking about other people’s thoughts – to predicting them, reading them, and empathizing with them. It’s called the temporoparietal junction, and this is the area cognitive neuroscientist Rebecca Saxe focuses on in her research.

[ted_talkteaser id=630]At TEDGlobal 2009, Saxe delves into our amazing capacity to identify and predict others’ emotions and actions, and how this ability is learned throughout childhood. This skill serves an important function in human relationships – we learn how to fill in the unspoken blanks between what someone is thinking and how they are presenting themselves. This is what allows us to glance at a photo of someone and be able to know what she is feeling.

Saxe’s talk is this week’s featured idea for TED Weekends on the Huffington Post. Below, find essays…

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Criminal Minds S08E22, Have You Changed?

W.Somerset Maugham once said, “We are not the persons this years as last, nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love the changed person.”

Change is inevitable, for everyone and for everything. We are not even the same persons today as yesterday, nor are those we love. And it is damn a happy chance, if we, changing, continue to love the changed person. That’s the spirit. That’s the cure of distance and estangement. We pursue the love with no deterioration, while with no idea how. Most of the time, we even choose the opposite path, we argue, we doubt. But so you know, you have changed, he has changed, if your mind don’t, you love would certainly fade away.

Castle S05E24, Love and Commitment.

I’ve been seen Castle from season 1 to the latest episode and the whole development of relationship line bewteen Castle and Kate. I shed tears and laughters for them. I see both love and sacrifice, every choice and responsibility, fear and struggle.

Both conversation between KATE and her father, Castle and his mother, got me touched.

CASTLE AND HIS MUM

CASTLE: Just tell me, how I am suppose to trust her? How am I even suppose to…to be in a relationship with her, if she won’t let me in? After everything that we’ve been through together, I just don’t understand.

MUM: I hate to say it. But kiddo, I do. Look, the truth is, Katherine is a mbitious women and she should take that job interview.

CASTLE: Whose side are you on?

MUM: You want her to put you first when neither one of you know where the relationship is going. Do you know how absurd that is? 

CASTLE: This isn’t about me.

MUM: Are you sure? I know you. You do not hold back. Except…This thing with Katherine. It took you what, three years to tell her how you felt. Another year to act on it. And now, first sign of trouble, you’re ready to run. Why? Now you are having a good time, you both are. And I know you say you love her. But darling, this is who she is. So is it possible that the reason you have held back is because somewhere deep down inside you don’t think this is gonna really work?

KATE AND HER DAD

DAD: Sounds like a great offer.

KATE: Yeah, it is.

DAD: So, what are you gonna do?

KATE: I don’t know, dad. It’s like I’m standing at a crossroads and I have to choose between two possible futures.

DAD: Why do you think you have to choose?

KATE: Because, dad, he is right…If I take this job, and there is not gonna be time for anyone else . And then if I don’t…

DAD: It’ll be because of him and you’ll end up resenting him for it.

KATE: Or… worse. Dad, I dont’e know what we have. I don’t know if it’s…real. It’s like we’ve been doing this dance for the past five years, and I mean, what happens when the music stops? What if all we were  in love with was the dance?

DAD: You know, your whole life, you’ve never had a relationship go this far. You know, somewhere around here you always end them. Now why is that? Look, katie, I know you. When you get scared, you hide in your work. And I just want you to be sure whatever deision you make,it’s because it’s what you want, not because you’re afraid. 

KATE: This job, it’s what I want.

DAD: Then tell him.

KATE: He is gonna hate me, dad.

DAD: That’s something you’ll have to live with.

The thing touches me, is not because MUM or DAD is always the one knows you best…

You know, we all have this experience when you have to decide what to do and how to do it. It’s gonna be hard, especially someone you love is involved. You are lost when you yourself cannot see through what is happening. You always get scared and most time, you choose to run away.

I am just glad, to see it happen, that CASTLE decides to want more. And YES, he proposed.

Habitación en Roma, where strangers fall in love.

Directed by Julio Medem, Habitación en Roma (Room in Roma) is an adaption based on  En La cama (In Bed). A hotel room in the center of Rome serves as the setting for two young and recently acquainted women to have a physical adventure that touches their very souls.

It is not my usual type of film. But frankly speaking , it is one of the best films I’ve seen. It is beautiful, in every single way. The music, the collisions of history and modern technology, the scenery settings. The way it evolved, the artistry, the way Natasha tried to pull away emotionally when she was getting too close, the way Alba allowed Natasha to do so without lashing back, but instead showing care and sensitivity. The way Natasha resisted but then fell into Alba’s words, wanting to know more about her. This movie is intelligent and sensitive to women.

Love it and its OST, especially Loving Strangers.

 

CD – Habitación en Roma (Jocelyn Pook)

01. Women’s Magazine Tango
02. The Painting Speaks
03. Libera Me
04. Caesar’s Rome
05. Secret Garden
06. The Room
07. Adam’s Lullaby. Roman Mix
08. Conversation With An Absent Father
09. Aphrodite
10. Strange Fish Tango
11. Agora In Athens
12. Meeting Place
13. Enchantment
14. Pompei
15. Quarrel
16. Body Shapes
17. Il Tango Delle Rivista Femminile
18. Loving Strangers
19. Upset
20. Contigo

 

 

 

We Create Our Own Demons

“We create our own demons,” Tony Stark begins in Iron Man 3, in a cliche and yet inspring opening. I remember Oscar Wilde once said, “We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.”. Damn true. We should hold resonsibility for what we have done and the consequences that follows.

Wuthering Heights, produced by BBC in 2009, is one of the adaptions Emily Bronte’s novels of the same name. Tom Hardy, the Heahcliff, is the one that struggles his whole life till death for the love of Catherine. The desperate love reminds me a paragraph from “The Thorn Birds” by Colleen MacCullough,

“Each of us has something within us which won’t be denied, even if it makes us scream aloud to die. We are what we are, that’s all. Like the old Celtic legend of the bird with the thorn in its breast, singing its heart out and dying.”

Love and hate. Love becomes hate when it is twisted and filled with obessesion, betrayal and redemption. Sometimes, we do things, terrible things, in the name of love, which is only the excuse that we made to justify our behavior.

“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven. Nature has placed mankind under the government of two sovereign masters, pain and pleasure – they govern us in all we do, in all we say, in all we think: every effort we can make to throw off our subjection. Maybe half of it is what we consider as hell. You go mad, and all your demons come and get you just as fast as you can think them up. Vicious habits are so obnoxious and degrading that they transform the individual who practices them into an incarnate demon.Sadly.

We can decide to confront the dark parts of ourselves, and work to vanish them with illumination and forgiveness. Or better yet ameliorate the high ethical standards we already acquire that are essential to good character. Our willingness to wrestle with our demons will cause our angels to sing instead.

As for me, I would rather be an inspiration rather than a fiendish. To do good is effortless but doing the opposite requires conscious exertion of pain, of trouble.”